Easing Through a Green Light – My Weekly Poem 3/14/2022

I had      a sense of ease
when I saw the light was green.
No cars coming
a smooth left turn
tap brakes      turn wheel
a gentle lean begins.
A slick spot      under my wheels
why there?      Why       my wheels?
The back       wants to pass the front
the front       wants to point at other cars.
This all started right
and     gently      quickly       went wrong.
I nudge the wheel     the other way      and pray.
it       was just a spot
just     one      slick       spot
that I passed quickly
then     all      went       wrong
but soon      was put back right.
A moment later
at the next red light
breathless.


Photo by Dids on Pexels.com

This poem was posted for the previous week’s poetry prompt, Spaced Out. I’m interested to know if the spacing added or subtracted from your experience of reading this poem.

Published by Vos - Poetry and Prose

IT Professional by day – Creative Muse by night

6 thoughts on “Easing Through a Green Light – My Weekly Poem 3/14/2022

  1. I’m beginning to like spaces a lot! With regards to your poem, why do you use spaces in the first few lines? It goes against the sense of ease. I think it might be more effective to use spaces after ‘brakes’ or ‘slick spot’ in juxtaposition to the initial sense of ease. I very much so like the use of spaces in the latter part of the poem and feel it adds to the poem. The theme, driving and traffic lights, is perfectly chosen for the Spaced Out challenge. I’ll come back to the Spaced Out challenge. No doubt about that!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for the comment on that. The spaces are intended to create a sense of tension, so I see what you mean about creating tension at the beginning when it starts with “a sense of ease”. I am truly grateful that you took time to give me some critical feedback. Future versions of this poem will definitely incorporate what you observed.

    Like

    1. Only change things, if that feels right for you. I’m always quite ‘out there’ when it comes to criticism and hope it comes across as constructive – which is what it’s intended to be. I mean, hey, who am I to criticize anyone’s work?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Who are you? Well, I have always enjoyed writing poetry as something for me, and only recently I have been posting my poetry in hopes of entertaining others. So, now I wonder about the reaction, if any, a reader will have. That makes you an important person to me when you are willing to share your reactions. I guess what I’m saying is thank you for being you, I will always welcome your reactions and, of course, decide for myself what my reaction to that will be 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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